Should women pursue men?

This is quite controversial to say the least but in a changing culture why can’t a women pursue a man? In the bible Ruth clearly pursued Boaz! Did not the bible also say seek and ye shall find? Surely that doesn’t just apply to a job, car, or home does it? Many women today have become quite aggressive anyway when it comes to finding a suitable mate so what’s the big deal? Have u ever pursued a man? Do u feel like pursuing a man devalues u as a woman? Talk to me!


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24 Responses to Should women pursue men?

  1. Kirsten says:

    I think there’s a huge difference when women pursue men vs. letting a man know you are interested. Men are natural born hunters. I think the pursue should stay with men. When women pursue; the relationship is short lived because most of the… time the man wasn’t in the mindset of getting into a relationship. He may entertain it but he’ll soon leave. When men pursue, the woman KNOWS the guy is interested and it will up to her to receive him. I didn’t interpret Ruth pursuing Boaz. I think she made herself available through Ruth’s instructions but ultimately, it was up to Boaz to receive her. Boaz was already observing her in the fields and giving her favor so that’s where I believe Boaz was pursuing her from a distance. Just my 2cents…

    • jksanders says:

      You are correct Kirsten but sometimes the man can be oblivious that the women is interested in him. I don’t see anything wrong with it!

    • Chaplain Oveida says:

      Ruth was surely pursuing Boaz. Ruth was pursuing Boaz from a distance. A Woman knows her power. Naomi even told Ruth to fix herself up and go to Boaz. I beleive the plan was in place from the first day. A woman does not have to front forwardly show interest in a man but you can best believe their eyes met the first day. There is nothing wrong with a woman pursuing or having an interest in a man. Sometimes men are introverts and will not approach a woman. Smile at the Brothers! Acknowledge! Say Hello! Good Morning!

  2. Bridget says:

    Without a doubt, I say Yes a woman can pursue a man..why wait to be hand picked by a man who you are not that into, an settle because he choose you…I believe a woman clearly know what she likes as well as a man…why not go after what she wants..I think a woman knows more of who she is and what she likes in a man..If she see one that fit her interest, I so go for it!..It’s the really old heads that still beleive that a women should be in hiding or kept quiet…Today woman are truly more aggressive in what they like in a mate/friend, because they can be!!..It’s only a big deal to folks who are passive.(mess around and find yourself by yourself)Growing up i never pursued a man because i was told that woman shouldn’t, but as i got old and started using my own mind I don’t see where theres anything wrong with it “got my eye on one now”..No it doesn’t devalue you i think it enhances you simlpy because you know what you want and you went after it!!!One of my aunts use to tell me that ” If a man want you there’s nothing you can/ would do to make him leave, and If he doesn’t there nothing you can/would do to make him stay” I’m just sayin get your grown women on and pursue if you like what you see…Nothing beats a failure then a try!!!!

    • jksanders says:

      Wow Bridget is all I can say! And on a topic like this u are being quite transparent and open. I hate it when a sister act like she won’t pursue a man and she knows really she will! They’re just scared to say it in an open forum! Thank u for your honesty!

  3. Toni says:

    Our culture is changing by the minute, but the Bible still says…”A man that findeth….”
    Call me old fashion, but I want to be found. I trust that my future mate is seeking and shall find me.
    I have never pursued a man, but I made sure he noticed me………….big difference.

    • jksanders says:

      Well Toni all I can sy is I heard that! Lol. But let me add that there are sooo many differents types of pursuing and to be sure he notices u maybe one of them! Lol. Thx for your comment!

  4. Stephanie Ingram says:

    I believe its is ok for a woman to let a man know she is intrigued by him, however I do not agree with a woman pursuing a man. In my opinion its not lady-like. Men are born to pursue. My dad told me something when I was twenty years old. He said, A man will SWIM THROUGH an OCEAN of HOT SAUCE to get ANYTHING in LIFE if he TRULY WANTS it!! I did not get it at FIRST! After growing in to the woman I am Today, “I get it.” Its true. Im a witness! We as women have Power, and sometimes we have not tapped in to that Power. Im not speaking of manipulation. Im speaking of Pure influence without all the “VOTE FOR ME” tactics. If that particular man is for you…..You’ll Know. He will pursue a woman WITHOUT an OUNCE of shame in his game either! I suggest we as women pursue God, our Goals and Dreams.

    • jksanders says:

      Hmmm Steph. I agree with ur dad to the extent that worked in his day. I as a single man don’t find it distasteful at all when a woman asks me out. Maybe the word pursue may thru some but there’s all kinds of pursuing. Women do this all the time (not u I’m saying) but fake it in public. Let’s just agree to disagree. Thx!

  5. Pam says:

    I have pursued a man and we dated for many years. It is a clear difference between pursuing and aggressive behavior. A woman can pursue by flirting or as a couple responses have said…..”stand out”.
    At this stage in my life, I am not against a woman pursuing a man but she should not go beyond a “no”. Men do prefer to chase, but what’s wrong with chasing after I, woman, have started the pursuit. Maybe a little cat/mouse is more adventurous than sitting around waiting.
    Every woman/man is different and some men are put off by an aggressive, hot pursuit woman while others are intrigued by her boldness. Be you, if it works….. Do it!

  6. Toni says:

    Ouch Mr. Sanders…! I must admit that you may be right. I have flirted and that can be a method of pursuing. I stand corrected. However, in a culture with very aggressive women, I still prefer a man that will pursue me, even if it’s after I’ve flirted.

  7. Regina Isaac says:

    S/N Pursue in the dictionary says…to follow in order to overtake, capture, kill, or defeat … so….what type of pursue are we talking about? LOL… Now I do believe you should let a single man know you are interested but keep it moving after that. If he is interested he will follow up on you…if he is interested.

    • jksanders says:

      Regina correct u are. U can let a man know ur interested but someone feel there too all that to do even that! I found out personally that women who don’t think they can do anything in the meet n greet process usually wind up home alone on the weekends when she could have said a simple “hello”!

  8. Shante says:

    There’s NOTHING wrong with a woman pursuing a man. Ruth is a great example for any lady that’s trying to find her Boaz. Ruth was confident, she had swagga, she was bold WITHOUT being loud, she was friendly (if you have an attitude problem PLEASE get rid of it RIGHT now!!! This will run a man away real quick) she was submissive, virtuous and humble. She didn’t start off by asking him what he could give her (so many women make this mistake) but she asked him to allow her to work HIS field. She wanted to show him what she was working with without giving “IT” up (so many women think that if they offer him a piece the first time they meet him then they will definitely get that man & keep him…… WRONG). Most importantly, she worked that mans field WITHOUT interupting his FLOW (his friendships, his daily routine, his life etc.). There was many “CHICS” work’n the same field but Ruth knew who she was and what she was working with!!!! Ladies, if your going to pursue the man make sure your CONFIDENT, your CONVERSATION piece isn’t all about you, and make sure you CARRY yourself in a way that no matter how many “CHICS” are in his field he will look over all of them & choose you!!! BE ENCOURAGED
    PS.. don’t loose out because your stuck in an “old skool” box!!! You betta jump out of that box and start search’n!!! Always remember God said “He that FINDETH a wife…… Boaz found her in HIS field. He never would’ve found her if she didn’t show up!!!

  9. Annamaria Stamp says:

    comment? what makes you think I had a comment? the “hello” was just a sarcastic response to the last sentence to your reply to Ms. Isaac…
    o.k. colonel sanders. oh, excuse me “dear” simply put NOTHING VENTURED, NOTHING GAINED……

  10. Annamaria Stamp says:

    That’s what u get 4 talking “junk” trying 2 insinuate that I’m chicken knowing that u ain’t got nuttin on this sista…preacher man, don’t play ur self…LOL

  11. Annamaria Stamp says:

    That’s what u get 4 talking “junk” trying 2 insinuate that I’m chicken knowing u ain’t got nuttin on this sista…preacher man, don’t play urself…LOL

  12. Tameka says:

    Shante, I made this exact same point to a preacher friend on FB. Many times we miss out on our blessings because we listen to people as to what we should do instead of listening to God. God gives us our wisdom and strategies and it’s up to us to follow through with our faith. Ruth made herself noticeable in the field and made her interest known at the threshing floor. God also tells us to be bold and he doesn’t give us the spirit of fear. Now this is just me but when someone is strong on the woman not pursuing usually is a sign of controlling instead of letting God be in control. Many people fall into a religious role with this subject. Yes the bible clearly speaks of the man being the head and taking lead but is there anywhere that is God saying that a woman couldn’t pursue. “He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour from the Lord”. FIND- to obtain, acquire by effort, to detect the true nature or character. Clearly God is saying that you the man must find the woman`s characteristics being that of Him so that they may not be unequally yoked, and that she will be suitable helpmeet. That’s why King Lemuel`s mothers was used by God to prophesy to him the qualities of a Virtuous Woman. Wtbs…I`m single and pursuing. PURSUE- to strive to gain; seek to ATTAIN or accomplish. Yes Ms Annamarie left that part of the definition out…lol ATTAIN- succeed in achieving (something that one desires and has worked for).

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  14. Jennie Burgess says:

    I started talking to Robert about four years ago via fb…. By the way in which am very good friends with his mother…. Later that night we talked on the phone until 3am….For the next year up until now I’ve text him and he would respond…..Ive called he would answer….I’ve express my love for him over and over …. Up until this point he’s in and out of relationships…..I love him dearly…What’s a woman to do in this situation?

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